Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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