Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize