How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have demons in me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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