New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
