he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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