Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
