Who wears a wallet chain?!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My ATM looks so different sober.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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