Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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