i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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