Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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