i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
