You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
