OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
