We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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