I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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