So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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