I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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