there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
