Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
