We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize