Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
