All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize