Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
