I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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