Tell her she can't have a vagina
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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