So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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