gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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