We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
