You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize