Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mouth tastes like poor choices
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
