I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
