Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
