how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
