Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
