dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
