I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
