____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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