I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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