Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're too hungover to prance.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
