I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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