DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
