So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
