I am in a vortex of obligation.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
