Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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