So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
