your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
