Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
