Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
