Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
