I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
