How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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