Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
