i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
