I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
